True relationships=nipping and caring

This week, a gracious friend invited my daughter and I to spend some time at a horse stable.  It was so much fun to watch the routines, learn lots of new things and observe horse behaviors.  After much coaxing, it completely warmed my heart to see my daughter ride a horse for the very first time.  And, due to my severe horse allergy, I am quite pleased to announce that I did not die of anaphylaxis.  I am still alive and well!  It had been 30 years since I mounted a horse.  I so desperately wanted to "let it rip" and ride off into the sunset.  One day...

True relationships=nipping and caring
August 5, 2013

Across the fence from each other, I laughed as I watched 2 horses nipping each other's necks.  I was reminded that one of the reasons animals bite is that they are expressing how much they care about each other.  Most times, biting is all in fun and also expresses their desire to play.  If we were to observe a herd of horses, the alpha horse would be the only one with no bite marks. "The alpha horse is calm, self-confident and totally unemotional...and is ready to do whatever it takes to maintain his position."

As interaction progresses, nips can turn into bites and the horse turns play into domination.  It's all about the relationship.  If a horse bites you, it's your fault!  So, we use strategies to protect ourselves, for retaliation in this instance is fruitless.  Some protective strategies are:  satisfy the play drive, indulge his oral interaction "talent," stay out of the nip zone, don't smack 'em-back 'em and most importantly develop and maintain friendship and utmost respect.  Just like people, horses need to be loved and respected.

If only we could get this.  We try very hard to protect ourselves and to avoid bite marks...because bites can hurt.  We avoid difficult conversations and interactions...fearing the pain and discomfort.  Sometimes, we just need to "bite" each other in order to express our deep care and concern for each other.  Speaking the truth in love is sometimes very painful.  But, when we are confident in the relationship, giving and receiving "bites" only means that we are deeply loved.  Bites should mean, "I love you enough..."

Sometimes we do what we have to do...whatever it takes...whatever that means.