I'm a stranger...an alien

I was reading Psalm 119:19 last week.  David wrote, "I am a stranger on earth."  Psalm 39:12 reads, "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping.  For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were."   In Hebrews 11:13, great men of tremendous faith admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.  They struggled to work out their salvation just like we do.  I Peter 2:11 says, "I urge you as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul."  You know...over the years, I've heard this a lot, but I've never really stopped to think about it. I'm on a pilgrimage...this earth is not my true home. I'm a stranger: an alien.

I guess where I mostly see this to be true is when I attend weddings which are clearly not Christ-centered.  The music becomes ear-piercing, the drinking becomes out of control and the dancing becomes increasingly vulgar.   To them, it is hilarity to watch each other become toasted out of their minds.  I look into so many faces and eyes and see people looking for answers in all the wrong places.  There is such emptiness; it makes me so sad.  I can't help but be affected.  My personal discomfort thermometer begins to rise.  I think to myself, "This is so not me. I am a minority here.  I'm a stranger...an alien.  I don't belong here anymore; it's probably time for me to leave...I see the hand-writing on the wall."  But, I stay because I need to be a light in those dark places.  Perhaps maybe someone here needs to see the love of Jesus.  How do I reach these people??

Likewise, many times I feel like a stranger in the church institution.  I just can't go through the motions of doing the church thing; there is so much more.  I must be truthful for "a less-than-honest person is somewhere between pain and catastrophe...to the extent that a person is able and willing to be honest, he can grow." ~H. Cloud & J. Townsend.   I can't explain  when or why this transformation has happened and it kind of unnerves me; I still can't put it all into words.  What if I got a few tattoos or a nose ring or had purple hair or became a biker-momma? (Don't worry, I don't plan on doing any of those things.  More than likely the most radical thing I will ever do is wear an ankle bracelet or begin coloring my hair one day...but it won't be purple or blonde.  I know...please try to keep your gasp to a minimum.)  My burning question:  Would I still be loved for who I am??  I'm quite sure I'd be judged and others would think, "She's gone totally mad."  I'd think I've gone totally mad too...but that's beside the point.  :)

My point is...I need to be out there...fulfilling the Great Commission...hanging out on dirty floors...being Jesus to those who don't even realize what they need.  Sometimes I need to go be a stranger in uncomfortable places.  But, as a Christian, I must be so careful that I don't see myself as a "cut above" those who do not claim to know Jesus.  I've been there and it makes me feel so ashamed.  Trust me, I've been around enough of those "airs" my whole life and want no part of that.  We are all sinners; we haven't arrived  Yet still, we have the tendency to minimize others and exalt ourselves.  We may appear all cleaned up on the outside, yet, it is ONLY by God's grace that we are who we are.  We cannot forget that.

Am I alone in my thinking?  I have no idea if I am making any sense.  But, I hope you can hear my heart.

While writing, I remembered this older song by Petra.  Please watch and listen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhPVOyzZBqk .