I am once again reminded of the brevity of this life. Tragedy strikes. Our friends' young adult daughter was killed in a car accident on July 4. I am reminded that we cannot do this life on our own; we need each other. There are absolutely no answers to the whys and to the pain we must endure. We are called to walk this road together; holding up each other's arms.
With the goods I've been given, it is very difficult for me not to deeply feel others' pain. My heart actually hurts. It is hard for me not to walk beside others. Yet, carrying the weight is God's job. That's where I need to leave it...on God's big shoulders.
It is so frustrating. In my temporal mind, I want to figure it all out. I want to understand the whys. So many times, I've wanted to move beyond the pain. Most times, God tells me to, "Stay in it...I'm not done yet." So, I stay there.
I wish I could say that I always live each day as if it is my last. I wish I always live every day absolutely certain of my purpose here. I wish I always understand and keep my relationship with Jesus as my primary focus. I honestly can't say that I always do. Did the saints of old?
One thing I do know...I'm going to love, hug, kiss, snuggle and nuzzle my daughter a whole lot more. I want love and faithfulness to never leave her; I want to place them around her neck. I want to be more purposeful about talking with her here in the sun room about what really matters in this life and hopefully create many positive memories, just as my mom has done with me. She would sit with me on the front porch swing for hours...just being fully present. There is no price tag or return policy for those private moments. No one can steal those memories...they are in my mind forever.
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