As I think back over my many years of being raised in the church, I must be painfully honest and admit that the memories of un-grace prevail over times that I have seen grace. To say that I am deeply troubled by this is quite an understatement. Humbly I confess, at times, I too have shown un-grace.
I think way back to some significant people in my life; those who called themselves Christians and became deeply entrapped in overt sin. Lives, families and the Body of Christ were crushed and destroyed. How could they do such a thing?! If they were using Jesus as their standard, how on earth could those situations have happened? Yes, I asked those questions. I saw hypocrisy. I saw humanness and the enemy grip his talons into those who sincerely walked the walk. We have much higher expectations for those who call themselves followers of Jesus.
The fact is, if we all see ourselves as sinners and vulnerable to fail, we would be much more willing to offer the gift of grace to others. Instead, it is so easy to get snagged in that repulsive self-righteous trap. We don't want to listen to raw honesty...we don't want to hear about that ugly sin. We want you all cleaned up. We look around just waiting to pounce on someone who seems suspicious or seems to be hiding in sin. If we are honest, we all have those dark places that we don't want anyone to see. This is the key to freeing our souls: we need to take off those silly masks and be willing to be vulnerable and honest. But, seeing years of un-grace, why wouldn't we choose to hide? It is true..."The virus of un-grace infects the Body of Christ."
(What's So Amazing About Grace? by PhilipYancey)
Sadly, we tend to measure whether or not a person is deserving enough to receive grace. Puleeeaaase. The word deserve is not even part of this equation. After watching Cinderella for the ca-zillionth time with my daughter, just this morning I spoke these words of un-grace, "That mean 'ol cat! Lucifer deserves to be punished and made to feel miserable by giving him a bath!" Other than needing the love of Jesus in his heart, I have zero compassion for Lucifer (I know...you may find that hard to believe, but it's true). Honestly, many times I've been on the receiving end of "that mean 'ol cat." As a matter of fact, I came face to face with "that cat" just this week! (You don't even want to know my ugly thoughts in the heat of that moment.) Yup, I'm human too...but it doesn't make my thoughts right. No matter what we've done, none of us are deserving or come even close to being worthy of grace or forgiveness. Yet, this gift is free; that's the miracle. "Grace alone melts un-grace." (Yancey)
Then, we put a cap on how many times we will forgive and show grace with someone, "OK, I'll forgive them just this once, but next time? No way, Hosea." This is especially true if the offense directly impacts us...and deeply hurts our hearts. Out of selfishness and protection we say, "I'm not going there again, it hurts way too much." In Matthew 18, Peter asked how many times he should forgive...up to seven times? Jesus responds in his usual creative and thought provoking way, "Uh no...how 'bout seventy times seven"...meaning nope...we need to forgive with just as much grace the first time as we would the thousandth time. It's not about keeping score. Again, when we understand and live in God's grace and forgiveness, offering that gift in return is just what we do.
I long to be a woman who unconditionally wraps the gifts of grace and forgiveness...and places them at the feet of the most undeserving souls. I deeply desire to be an agent of change to help bring freedom and healing to those who have lost all hope. I've been there...I fully understand. "Not to forgive imprisons us in the past and locks out all potential for change." (Yancey) Why on earth would we choose to stay there? Why wouldn't we want to offer or receive grace and forgiveness? Of all places, we should have the comfort and confidence that we can find grace in the Body of Christ...The Church. Shouldn't we?
I'll leave you with this quote: “Grace means that all of your
mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.”
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