Christmas time is here...

It is the most wonderful time of the year.  But, for many, Christmas is very difficult and can be very painful and sad.

As I work with my precious little peeps, I am fully aware that 5, 6 and 7 year olds are carrying loads that they are not meant to have to carry.  Homelessness, broken families, drug abuse, alcoholism, domestic violence, imprisonment...you name it...it's all around me.  I can't ignore it.  My heart breaks.

Yesterday, I had a tender interaction with a little girl...knowing full well what she is dealing with at home.  She was having a really rough day and wasn't able to keep it together.  So, the teacher sent her to my office for a rest break.  She was sobbing uncontrollably.  So, I sat down on the cot next to her and held her real close.  In a nutshell, this was our conversation:  I said, "What's wrong, darlin'?"  "I have a stomach ache and I miss my mommy."  "So, tell me what's really going on?"  "I just feel really sad.  Mommy had to take daddy to a "shelter" last night...I don't know when I'll see him again."  "Where are you living now, honey?"  "With my grandpa."  "Where will you celebrate Christmas this year??"  "At my aunt's house."   "What gift do you hope for this Christmas?"  With a huge smile she said, "I usually get a pair of pajamas...they are so warm and snugly."  "Do you get slippers too??"  "I don't know, sometimes."   I said, "I LOVE cozy pajamas and slippers too."  I looked in her sweet brown eyes and said, "I know you are going through a really hard time right now.  But, sometimes,  you just have to be strong.  Right now, you need to be strong and get back to class.  Your teacher and your friends really miss you.  If you need to later, you can talk more with the guidance counselor."  At this point, I didn't give one rip about the 1 armed hug policy and gave her a huge hug and assured her that we love her and care about her...and that she is going to be okay.  I needed to comfort her ...realizing this is her only safe place.  That was all she really needed in that moment.  I wanted to be Jesus to her.

I can empathize.  I realize I too was once that little girl who needed someone to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I experienced the effects of how substance abuse destroys a family.  Every Christmas, I experience the internal anxiety and flashbacks.  Jesus is healing my broken pieces.  But, along with the pain, I experience the joy.  Jesus is my only hope and I am so thankful.

In my solitude this morning, I watched my daughter all curled up in the bean bag chair by the fireplace...just quietly reading with her lammie "stuck" to her nose.  It was such a precious, heart-warming sight.  I want so much for her to know the peace in our home that only Jesus brings...at Christmastime especially.