We were never meant to have to say good-bye.
In the quiet of my sun-room this morning, I'm embracing the moments of yesterday's memorial service. In my previous post, "The up and down waves of life," I mentioned that I had to say good-bye to someone who deeply impacted my life. I cannot believe he is gone. My heart really hurts.
As we celebrated and remembered his life, I was fully present for those three hours. Those times certainly cause me to think a lot about what is most important. As I looked around the crowded room, there were so many people that I've know for many, many years...so many people who have touched my life. I looked around at their faces...some I am certain were wearing those dreaded masks. I know their past and their pain.
In his honor, as we sang two of my favorite hymns, "Great is Thy faithfulness" and "It is well with my soul," I experienced just a decibel level and tiny glimpse of Heaven...in a way I have never known before. We were flooded by tears and our hearts exploded with praise to God. It truly was a worship experience. That's the way he would have wanted it. I was left wondering in those moments...were we actually standing in the foyer of Heaven???
A friend I have known for 20 years sang an older, poignant song titled, "Thank You for giving to the Lord," by Ray Boltz. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWAv4qs_YnQ. It's a tear jerker...just trust me on this one. The key lyrics simply say, "Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am a life that's been changed..." My mind was flooded with so many memories. I lost it as my tears began to flow.
I am certain of one thing. Regardless if it freaks people out or not, I need to say thank you so much more. I've heard others say, "I don't need to tell them...they just know." I don't agree. I must ask, do they really just know?? Do we tell them when we have the opportunity...now? Why is total honesty so uncomfortable for so many???
Once again I am reminded that nothing matters more to me than the people in my life. I want to leave this earth with the confidence that I did my very best to invest in lives...walking beside them no matter what their circumstances. I could seriously live in a little shack (as long as it has a fireplace and a little room for me to think and to write). Things don't matter one single bit. We certainly don't take stuff with us, right?? I just want to finish well. This is my deepest prayer.
p.s. I also long for my home to be a haven for others. If you come, just promise me you won't go into my garage right now. There is a refugee frog that died somewhere in there. We can't find him (notice I say him?). It stinks really, really bad. Just sayin'....
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