My eyes fix on my favorite spiraled wooden wind-spinner that my parents bought for me years ago from their trip out west. As I watch it spin, I'm thinking about and questioning lots of things about life. I began thinking...that wind spinner represents my world. Right now, the wind is making it spin out of control. Yet, even in stillness it spins. Life spins all around me. Life still goes on.
When I least expect it, sometimes the rug gets yanked from beneath me. I'm caught blindsided. Situations and people can really, really disappoint me. It seems people should know better. Messy lives keep happening and sometimes it seems very few seem to care. What seems messy to me doesn't seem to be that way for others. Why do I care so much?? Why does my heart hurt? Am I expected to just accept that this is just the way it is and it's okay? No, I'm really not okay with it.
Trust me, I'm no angel. I fall, I sin. and I can make a royal mess out of things. I think to myself, "If we constantly strive to use Jesus as our example for living, if we stay aligned with Him, if we love Him with all our hearts, then how do we mess things up so badly?" Simply put, I think we ignore His whisper, we play with wild fire and we choose to live outside of the wise boundaries that Jesus sets for us. Jesus gives us these boundaries for our protection, for our absolute best and most of all because He loves us and doesn't want us to self-destruct. It is within those boundaries that we can live free. Otherwise, we make a mess. And, then we wonder how on earth did this happen? I've started reading that classic book, "When bad things happen to good people" by H. Kushner, just because, like many of us, I question these kinds of issues all of the time. (And, it is quite interesting reading from a Jewish Rabbi's perspective.)
Watching my wind spinner, once again I realize that I get seriously off track when I take my eyes off of Jesus. In my little world, life is certainly not always black and white. I realize that I expect way too much of others. If I don't expect or hope for anything other than God's grace and mercy then I guess I wouldn't get so disappointed. As Jesus' followers, we all need to return to our first love. Every~day.
Here it is. John 13:35: "By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." Really, this is all that matters. Life isn't all wrapped up in a perfect little bow...we aren't all cleaned up. I may not always understand, I don't have to be okay, nor will I always agree. But, I love regardless.
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| "We love regardless" ~Longwood Gardens, May 2015 |
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