Mercy comes running

Sitting in the sun room this morning, I was just mesmerized by the birds singing and the beauty of spring all around.  It is so therapeutic for me.   I wish my times of solitude never had to come to an end.  Why can't I stay in it??  Our flowering trees across the back yard literally create an amphitheater for the birds.  They are crazy loud!  They sound so happy and they in turn make me happy.

In anticipation of Mother's day, I'm reminded of my home in NY.  I inherited my love for nature, flowers and birds from my Mom. My Mom and I would spend countless hours just sitting at the back patio, just listening to the birds, gazing at the flowers, watching those stupid squirrels..sometimes in total quiet and other times in conversation.  She is incredibly gifted with arranging flowers and landscaping.  She says, "Just splatter some purple over there, some yellow over here, some pink the middle..."  Sure, Mom.  How come when I splatter, it never looks like that???!!!  Everything she touches becomes beautiful.  And, we also loved sitting on the front porch swing endlessly...talking about what matters in life.  She is always such a comfort to me.  She has given me the most precious gift of time...and she still does.  I really, really miss those moments when it seemed time stood still...but I am so thankful that I can carry those memories with me forever.  Life goes by much too quickly.

My Mom's hands-White Dogwood, Little River, SC

I think about the many times I would skin my knees or my feelings got hurt or my heart was broken or I felt lonely.  I also had severe childhood viral, allergic and exercise induced asthma.  With every asthma attack, I was so terrified that I was going to die.  To this day, that horrible fear of suffocation remains.  I would spike really high fevers and couldn't breathe on top of that.  Then, I would have these reoccurring nightmares.  Delirious, I'd see the walls closing in on me and I'd have all sorts of crazy hallucinations.  To this day, I have flashback nightmares about those times.  I'd scream out in the night and my Mom would come sit on my bed with me until I settled back to sleep.  My Mom has always been there.  She always came running to be at my side.  To my memory, there has never been any hesitation.

I was reminded this morning of an older song by Phillips, Craig and Dean.  I'm so thankful for Mercy today.  In my failures...when I am at the end of myself with defeat and I'm done with even trying, Mercy comes running.  Mercy sets us free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbq3nRFuhfU